:)

"The most painful part of life is to be one half of the perfect love story which was never meant to be"
This is a line from my favourite book Shantaram. Now what if you believe that the above statement is true all your life and wake up one day and realise that you are no longer part of this one half of the perfect love story??

Cuz you are very much part of the perfect love story that is meant to be.

Something i wrote a while ago

We always dream about that perfect girl,

With so much of passion and so much of adoration

I never had those dreams wherein I see the love of my life,

I never had any dejavu to identify my soul mate when I finally run into her,

Maybe because I do not believe in destiny,

Or because I know life is not all that easy.

I have, in my life, come across many girls,

Few of them very special to me,

Even fewer, I cherish,

And someone like you who I adore.

I do not remember the day you walked into my life,

I do remember the day I saw you, and you almost owned me then.

I wanted to know what you were like,

Hear more from you,

Talk to you, be it for few moments.

Those meaningless banter, describing your dreams,

The way your mind wanders along with the dreams; reflected in your eyes

Your hand working its way through the air to gesture the intensity of your words

The way you talk about yourself, with least bit of restrain.

The lips moving with so much of life and energy,

Those fingers working magic on the canvas of anyone's heart,

The way you do not work hard to impress others,

The way you sounded so serious, the last time I dreamt of you.

The way you try to be a lady in spite of the cheerfulness you show,

And end goofing around with such innocence.

The humbleness, yet the arrogance to live your life

The small dreams and aspiration you want to achieve at any cost

The bigger dreams you have and yet forgoing them.

The way you readily accept the reality.

The simplicity of life

The wide smile in accepting life

The trepidations in your heart regarding the future life

Yet the confidence in standing up to the life.

Everything amazes me

It makes you stand a little too far away from the myriad of girls.

It amazes me that you have not found anyone yet,

Or it is shocking that nobody has found you so far,

For you sparkle more than the diamonds I have seen in my life

It astounds me that even in you nonchalant talk about yourself,

I hear that call for someone.

I am not worth a treasure like you,

Yet I know what your real worth is.

All thanks to the so many mistakes in my life.

I do not know what I feel about you, how deeply I think about you

I know I adore you a lot,

I know I like you a lot,

I know I respect you a lot,

I know am not in love with you, but I sure could get used to that, this I know.

What I want is those few moments of yours,

Wherein you speak your mind so carelessly,

And I hear them like magic of sound

Hearing to those trepidations I mentioned,

And may be try a little to fix few problems.

When you feel about someone this way, you take that extra effort

Not to love, but to make life a little better for that person,

And expecting nothing more than a thank you, or maybe a smile, or maybe a grin

That's all I care, that's all I wished, when I thought so much about you

For you, If you ever happen to read it.....

I do not start my day thinking of you

Yet my everyday thoughts are so full of you

I do not end my day dreaming of you

Yet the only dreams I have are of you

In this place with so many girls

Who come in wonderful size and shape and looks

I no longer long to take a second look

Thence I yonder into this not so normal a change in me

Only to be hit by the strangest and the simple truth

That my eyes are at peace, only looking at you

The rendezvous with you, for me, is so natural a high

That I enter my surreal world with an ease so unsettling

Wherein I am at the liberty to speak my mind

If only to tell you I love you so.

Is this the love I was looking for? I know not the answer to thee

But I would spend a lifetime, if only trying;

To love you in the truest sense I know

Hear every unfinished dream you ever had

Understand the slightest of your movement so tender

Look deep into your eyes and read your thoughts

Comfort you at the worst of times

Hold your hand at the grimmest of hours

Show you the light at the darkest of hours, if only with a wasted torch

Make you smile at your lowest low

Stand by you and not speak a word, like a second shadow ever so close

And above all, getting to know you like no one before.

I am at loss for more words to say

That maybe I am truly in love with you

For the only way to put in words

Of how much I love you dearly

Is to say that I want to hit the bed night with you by my side

And wake up to a wonderful day with only you by my side

Day after day, night after night

For a day is not a day, and night not a night

If you are not there in it.

Truly

Rahul

First love letter

I wrote this poem way back in ninth grade. I had my first crush then, on a fellow student of mine. I do not want to reveal her name here, but this is what i felt for her as a highschooler,....love was so innocent then....

Love

when i look into her eyes
i do forget myself
when i don't see her
i feel much angry with myself

she makes me feel
i am on the top of the world
she makes me feel
i am different from all

what else can i say about her?
you can see her in my eyes
you can hear her heartbeat in my chest
you can feel her presence in my breath

i thrive for her
i crave for her
i live for her
but sad truth is she isn't mine.

Stupidity called love.

"You can always start loving someone, but you can never stop," it's a fact of life. Yet nobody realises that what so ever. The worst time one faces is when one confronts a break up. Words fly out of your mouth like arrows. The only thought one has during that time is to hurt that one person he/she loved so much. But why?? Nobody ever made any mistakes intentionally. Things just happened in the relation inadvertently. As the person you are trying to hurt is someone so close to your heart, is someone who you know so well, hurting the same person is an easy task. You know when to put down your fingers at the right areas. Nobody realises the irrepairable damage that one has caused in that process. But what one fails to see is that it's not hate that is prompting you to say all this, but it's just another face of love. One that nobody notices, one that nobody wants to look at.

But let me ask you something, imagine that both parties have moved on with their life, but still keep in touch with each other. All the hatred that you thought you had have subsided and all that is left is the good memories you both got. What does that leave you with then?? Just love and nothing else is it not? The guy still feels jealous of the the girl's present boy friend, the girl will always hate to see that guy with another girl. Yet they both avoid to see this.

Coming back to that damage i was talking about,...the reason why is is not repairable is cuz you would never want to get back with that girl or guy even though you love her/him so much so much. At times it is just guilt for having put that person through so much pain, sometimes is the thought that the person deserves so much better that what you are, sometimes it is just the feeling you have that it could never work out well. One can give many arguments for his actions, but that does not change the fact that you will always love that person.

On the other hand there are people who face this impediment with the right spirit and overcome it. They would have succumbed to love when they see it, for they know how to tackle the difficulties. They have been there, they have achieved the wisdom in love, they have felt the power of love. Only they will know what it is that i am talking about, and the others will just keep guessing what am getting at.

LOVE, does anyone believe in it in the purest and crudest form???

Aren’t there instances in life when you fall in love with someone and start to believe that she could be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with,…love is justified as long as you know you are in love, but the moment you start hoping or wanting for more, love in itself loses its sanctity. But how many actually believe in forgoing everything one has for the sanctity of the love he believes in?? Everyone calls you a fool if you do that today. Even the girl you love would take side with OTHERS and push you down till you smell the raw earth.

I have always been captivated by the concept of love. I doth see love the way it’s picturised in a yash chopra or karan johar movie, even though the basic concept of love remains the same; Love is love, nothing can replace it. I do not believe that love happens only ones, or there is one person made for everyone of us (not possible especially with varying sex ratio). You fall in love when ever you are alone and want someone to escape this boredom with, you fall in love whenever you feel a big void in you, whenever you start to think that just comradeship isn’t sufficient any more,….you fall in love whenever you want, with who ever you want, and that is the beauty and yet sacrilege about love.

Falling in love doesn’t necessarily mean there has to be a relation between two people which needs to be watered like a young plant, with the water of the same love. Cant we just enjoy being in love with someone with out actually expecting anything in return?? Just being blissful about it??

I was heartbroken when a person I loved left me just like that, without even telling me that we were breaking up. It hurt me so bad that I resolved not to fall in love again until I was sure that a relationship would work out (my 1^st mistake). Then came this girl into my life, a very beautiful creature, who tried to understand me for what I was, who was patient enough for me to fall in love with her, and that takes a lot of guts in itself, but things changed when I fell in love with her. It did not last. I sat wondering why that happened when I was sure that I truly loved her and was ready to forgo everything for this love, and realised that the concept of love was very different for each of us. The difference? I was ready to forgo everything for love, I wasn’t ready to forgo everything for her. Call it my stupidity or my courage, but that’s what love is for me.

I do not expect anything when I am in love. I do not try too much to be with someone, neither do I expect someone to go to troubles to be with me. I do not ask her to do anything for me, for all that matters to me is love, isn’t it not. As long as I know that someone loves me, am happy. I do not care what she is doing, who she is having fun with, when she’ll be with me, nothing. Woh pyar ka ehsaas hi kafi hai, jeene ke liye. I also can’t for ones look at someone I love and say that you are mine, only mine. I can’t say that not because my love is not real, but because I consider myself lucky in the 1^st place to be a part of that person’s love, let alone owning her. If she brings so much joy to me, then it would be a crime on my part to not let her spread her joy among others. I do not believe that no one can love her more than I do, I can’t say that for there maybe someone who loves her even more. Just how am I supposed to know that? All I ever will know is that I love her, truly I do, and I would always love her. If she says that she can’t stay with me any longer, I can’t compel myself to stop her from going; not because I do not love her, but because there is a chance that someone better, someone more deserving, would be waiting for her love (my 2^nd or 3^rd mistake, believing that the person I love is so much more than myself, that I do not deserve her in any way).

I for one, do not know how to pamper someone I love, for isn’t love lot more than material things?? Isn’t it a basic understanding that we have within? And if we do understand what we mean by being in love, then why should one go to the troubles of showing it off in so ridiculous a way, by buying expensive gifts, by celebrating it in such blatant ways. Isn’t the time spent together in itself a celebration of sorts, doesn’t the memories being made in itself the greatest gift??? I have tried to show off my love and affection in such preposterous ways, but I never found pleasure in it. I’ve found the mundane things that I have done with her far dearer, than those superficial celebrating moments. The superficial things do have its flip side too though, the smile that a stupid expensive gift brings on her face which is worthless, but doesn’t it also show what you are worth??? In some ways you yourself are admitting that you are no good, so substituting it with gifts. The day one says am worthless without you, he has experienced love in the best way possible.

I am one person who has lost a person I loved more than once in life. Yet I do not have any complains, I was blissful about being in love, and it was imperative that I say this before I went ahead with my crap. I once had an argument with a person I loved, about love and relations. She said some things to which I did not retort; not because I could not justify myself, but because I did not want to justify myself, not to her. Where did justification come in love anyway? Her words hurt me beyond any description. But the words opened my eyes to the difference we had at the rudimentary level about love, that's when I realised she never understood how I loved her, how I worshipped her. I lost the girls I loved, not because I did not know about love, or because I failed to see the relationship, but because I worshipped both her and the love I had. There were people who were ready to offer the girls I loved much more than what I had to offer. They loved her much more than what I did (the girls made me believe that), and convinced me that they were more happy with them than I. All I knew was to love them in the purest way I knew, and that was never enough. I knew it, they did not. And as luck would have it, I was interpreted in bad light. I was never believed to have loved them in the first place. People give their life away for the sake of love; I just broke my heart for the sake of love. And that I believe is love in it’s most wholly way I knew.