LOVE, does anyone believe in it in the purest and crudest form???

Aren’t there instances in life when you fall in love with someone and start to believe that she could be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with,…love is justified as long as you know you are in love, but the moment you start hoping or wanting for more, love in itself loses its sanctity. But how many actually believe in forgoing everything one has for the sanctity of the love he believes in?? Everyone calls you a fool if you do that today. Even the girl you love would take side with OTHERS and push you down till you smell the raw earth.

I have always been captivated by the concept of love. I doth see love the way it’s picturised in a yash chopra or karan johar movie, even though the basic concept of love remains the same; Love is love, nothing can replace it. I do not believe that love happens only ones, or there is one person made for everyone of us (not possible especially with varying sex ratio). You fall in love when ever you are alone and want someone to escape this boredom with, you fall in love whenever you feel a big void in you, whenever you start to think that just comradeship isn’t sufficient any more,….you fall in love whenever you want, with who ever you want, and that is the beauty and yet sacrilege about love.

Falling in love doesn’t necessarily mean there has to be a relation between two people which needs to be watered like a young plant, with the water of the same love. Cant we just enjoy being in love with someone with out actually expecting anything in return?? Just being blissful about it??

I was heartbroken when a person I loved left me just like that, without even telling me that we were breaking up. It hurt me so bad that I resolved not to fall in love again until I was sure that a relationship would work out (my 1^st mistake). Then came this girl into my life, a very beautiful creature, who tried to understand me for what I was, who was patient enough for me to fall in love with her, and that takes a lot of guts in itself, but things changed when I fell in love with her. It did not last. I sat wondering why that happened when I was sure that I truly loved her and was ready to forgo everything for this love, and realised that the concept of love was very different for each of us. The difference? I was ready to forgo everything for love, I wasn’t ready to forgo everything for her. Call it my stupidity or my courage, but that’s what love is for me.

I do not expect anything when I am in love. I do not try too much to be with someone, neither do I expect someone to go to troubles to be with me. I do not ask her to do anything for me, for all that matters to me is love, isn’t it not. As long as I know that someone loves me, am happy. I do not care what she is doing, who she is having fun with, when she’ll be with me, nothing. Woh pyar ka ehsaas hi kafi hai, jeene ke liye. I also can’t for ones look at someone I love and say that you are mine, only mine. I can’t say that not because my love is not real, but because I consider myself lucky in the 1^st place to be a part of that person’s love, let alone owning her. If she brings so much joy to me, then it would be a crime on my part to not let her spread her joy among others. I do not believe that no one can love her more than I do, I can’t say that for there maybe someone who loves her even more. Just how am I supposed to know that? All I ever will know is that I love her, truly I do, and I would always love her. If she says that she can’t stay with me any longer, I can’t compel myself to stop her from going; not because I do not love her, but because there is a chance that someone better, someone more deserving, would be waiting for her love (my 2^nd or 3^rd mistake, believing that the person I love is so much more than myself, that I do not deserve her in any way).

I for one, do not know how to pamper someone I love, for isn’t love lot more than material things?? Isn’t it a basic understanding that we have within? And if we do understand what we mean by being in love, then why should one go to the troubles of showing it off in so ridiculous a way, by buying expensive gifts, by celebrating it in such blatant ways. Isn’t the time spent together in itself a celebration of sorts, doesn’t the memories being made in itself the greatest gift??? I have tried to show off my love and affection in such preposterous ways, but I never found pleasure in it. I’ve found the mundane things that I have done with her far dearer, than those superficial celebrating moments. The superficial things do have its flip side too though, the smile that a stupid expensive gift brings on her face which is worthless, but doesn’t it also show what you are worth??? In some ways you yourself are admitting that you are no good, so substituting it with gifts. The day one says am worthless without you, he has experienced love in the best way possible.

I am one person who has lost a person I loved more than once in life. Yet I do not have any complains, I was blissful about being in love, and it was imperative that I say this before I went ahead with my crap. I once had an argument with a person I loved, about love and relations. She said some things to which I did not retort; not because I could not justify myself, but because I did not want to justify myself, not to her. Where did justification come in love anyway? Her words hurt me beyond any description. But the words opened my eyes to the difference we had at the rudimentary level about love, that's when I realised she never understood how I loved her, how I worshipped her. I lost the girls I loved, not because I did not know about love, or because I failed to see the relationship, but because I worshipped both her and the love I had. There were people who were ready to offer the girls I loved much more than what I had to offer. They loved her much more than what I did (the girls made me believe that), and convinced me that they were more happy with them than I. All I knew was to love them in the purest way I knew, and that was never enough. I knew it, they did not. And as luck would have it, I was interpreted in bad light. I was never believed to have loved them in the first place. People give their life away for the sake of love; I just broke my heart for the sake of love. And that I believe is love in it’s most wholly way I knew.