Rahul the early snob

Have you ever tried to turn back the pages of life, to say a time when you were a 2 yr old or 6 yr old or maybe 10year old? Few memories stay with you for ever, like the time you flew a kite with your grandpa over the barren fields, or the time you tried to milk the cow and almost got kicked, or the time you almost drowned in the pond. But there are events in your life as a kid, you would never know about, unless told by your mom our grandma or in my case my kid sister.

Year 1991

Place: A remote village in Kerala.

“I was carefree as ever, gleefully happy to be that way. As I was the apple of everyone’s eye at that time, being the only boy child at that time, I was pampered to the core. “Your wish is my command”, that was me. I used to wish, and that was a command for everyone. I remember tagging my grandpa to the work place, with a spade in hand and my dog Caesar behind me. My grandpa was a hard worker, and everyday I try to imitate him, like working his spade skilfully in channelling the water. I used to try eagerly, but within about 2-3 heaves I would give up and play with other workers or even get a banana off the banana plant and enjoy it. There was an instance when I made one of the workers get me a tender coconut, when everyone was working. There was one time when it was raining heavily and water was about to flood our grove, Grandpa put on his cap, made of some plant, and I mine. We both got out on to the grove and he kept making channels after channels for the water to flow by. I cut the wrong channels at the wrong place and grandpa had to make it right later on. This is one of the hectic days for me by the way. My normal days usually consisted of sweating like a pig, guess I was a pig then. I used to wake up early I believe, grandma would usually milk the cows early in the morning and I loved to drink the fresh milk right after milking. That is my first glass of milk (there would be a fourth glass by the end of the day), and the glass used to take in half litre of milk. Once I am done milking the cow, I am off to pester the hen and the cock. Even though they are used to waking up quite early, trust me, their day was fully up when I wake up. The hens always left back an egg inside their nest and every time I got a chance to retrieve it, I was on cloud #9. That is the next thing I ate. Egg, I liked it any which way, boiled, scrambled, or omelette. Then it is play time for me, and guess who were my friends? My dog Caesar, the chickens, the calves. Caesar and I chase the chicks and this gave me a sadistic pleasure. I used to chase the calf around and at times slap it with a stick or what ever I had in my hand. Once I am tired of all these, I run into the house and get few bananas, bring it to the veranda, hog it gleefully and then get back to the business of irritating everything around me.”

I wonder if I am still the same, but guess I have changed a little. I no longer hurt other living things for pleasure. I still remember many things I used to do as a kid. But there was another incident, which I had completely forgotten, until today. I still don’t remember saying it, in fact I can’t fathom that I was the one who said that.

“I am the eldest in my generation in my mother’s side. At the age of six, I had 3 sisters, two of them being four years younger to me, which means that the youngest one was couple of months old at that time. I had grown close to Ranju, and Anju. I have had them for two years by then, and as they did not take all the attention away from me, I clearly did not have any problem with me. And in the two years I realised that they were not going to be a major challenge to my fiefdom, my kingdom. Besides it was cool to play the elder brother, and also they were very cute. I used to love playing with them. Anyways, things were different with my youngest sister. ‘A third girl to Rahul’s kingdom?’ He did not care much, there are already two of them, what can a third one do? So I will be brother to three girls, guess it was not that bad a proposition. I should point out that my two sisters, Ranju and Anju used to be very cute at that time, and as I myself was very cute it was quite ok with me to hang around with cute or pretty people. My mom was pretty, mema(aunt) was pretty, and grandpa and grandma were beautiful. So far, everything in my life were pretty, or beautiful or yummy (the fruits, the fish, the egg, milk, chicken). Anyways, Anu, my youngest sister was a put off for me. She was not particularly cute or pretty or beautiful. And I did not like her. That’s like a chink in my armour, an ugly duckling in Rahul’s perfect world. How can I allow that, it affected my pride real bad. I had to do something about it didn’t I? After killing my poor brain for a really long time, I finally decided what should be done. I went straight to mema(my aunt) and with lot of authority and sympathy said “Meme, let us give Anu away, I do not like her, she is not very cute.”

Before you make any judgments about me, Arjun killed his cousins for a reason, I did not do that did I? Also, I was one spoiled kid at that time, who thought too much of himself. Now I am very close to all my three sisters, and my youngest sister happens to the prettiest of them all. Also, I did not know about this story until she herself told me about it today afternoon. Phew….