The humour of Life

When you face the greatest irony of life, you start running around in a circle, looking for that opening which never exits. When you are me, who can never accept defeat, or take things lying down, you keep finding out loopholes, you keep knocking on every single door to find the answer and solution. I have spent two weeks with due diligence trying to leave no stones unturned and finding the most simple answer, which is in fact the most toughest decision also.

As always, it is my personal life that bought me to this juncture. There is a lovely damsel, a beast, which in this context is me, and then there is the villain, which is also me. All my life my people around me adored me for what I am, what i could be. This led to arrogance, and it consumed me. I became the most self-obsessed arrogant, self righteous inhuman human I could possibly come across.

I never had any condescending attitude, but by not having it I became larger than life. I never treated anything wrong, but by doing that I became more inhumane in nature. I expected

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nothing from anything, for I knew I could survive even the toughest battle all alone, with no outside help what-so-ever. To an extent I became too altruistic.

In the relationship frontier girls where scared of me being so me. I never believed in changing for anyone. I never wanted anyone to change for me also. So much so that ppl around me thought I could never be tied down by love or lust or any sort of humane characteristic. Everyone thought I had the worst case of commitment phobia. I tell my parents that I am seeing someone and all they do is accept the fact in the most non-chalant manner. As if they accept me to go back to them and tell them again that am seeing somebody else.

"Rahul??? His mom is the most luckiest person alive, cuz she knows he could never love anyone or commit to anyone" I once heard that from an old love interest.

"Rahul has got the biggest commitment issues", I heard that from a person who was interested in me but got scared by my nature. Now we are good friends.

"Rahul, you need to loosen up a lil, at least try and act jeaolous of someone or something. Atleast get angry at someone every once in a while." another blatant comment I heard and never bothered.

Then everything went for the toss. I found the dame, she was irrestible. She matched me in everything. At times i had to put extra effort to match her standards. I could never be inferior to her, and she could never to inferior to her. My whole life took a U-turn. Slowly I started loosening up, I started having traits like jealousy which was unheard of. I started looking fwd to talking to her, spending time with her. I started understanding the meaning of love in the most pristine and clear manner.

For the first time i started caring someone more than myself. I started loving life more than I ever could and for the first time i wanted to bring the world to someone's footstep.

Then what happened???

The beast in me became the hero in me. The villain in me melted in her arms.

And then???

She realised that she had commitment issue :P