here i am sitting so late into the night, which is so not me for various reasons. i maybe one of those rare guys who wants to sit late into the night, not just sit but live through the night, but have the compulsion to go to sleep at that fixed time no matter what. the more i think of the reason for the compulsion today for not sleeping, the more i enter the world of darkness. am not the normal person who sits and broods over the mundane failures, but am the person who thinks best when in the most adverse of conditions. now don't get the notion that i don't brood at all,....oh!i do, but only after taking the right decision and executing it no matter how painful it is to my soul and how destructive it is to the very existence of me.
doing the right thing is not completely about pleasing other human beings, but it's the only way of pleasing the very existence of thyself as a human being in this very cruel earth. the people you love and care about would also misinterpret this gesture of yours , but that does not mean that you are on the wrong path. as long as you know that you are treading the path you believe is true and would bring a smile upon the face of others, you are always on the right track. you would be wondering what is prompting me to write all this at this point of juncture when i got to be wondering why i haven slept yet, then maybe the answer is in the question itself. maybe it is the thought of the things i have done and want to forget in life and its dire consequences that is troubling me like never before.
i believe life is not about taking anything from anyone, but giving everything you have to others. the very meaning of your happiness may depend on the act of being selfless towards the people you love and adore in life. but many at times i find myself in a position when the ideologies and faith have been challenged by the very people who call themselves your friends and companions. i cant fight them as they wont heed to the simplicity of my nature and the beauty of my decisions, and so I'll most definitely lose the battle that i would never win even if i fought. so i bow out in front of them, which again is misinterpreted and end up being called a coward. thus i have come to the conclusion that trying to convince a person about what we believe in is as bad as not trying to convince a person what we believe in. if both the options open to a person is proved wrong, then what exactly is right and what exactly is wrong???
i doth want to spend the rest of my life as being called 'just a guy', because i, like everyone else, believe that i can do something in life, maybe make a profound impact on the life of others. the only way to make a difference in others' life is to show them the path of you believe in, but how often do you find people who want to see life through others' eyes???that brings me back to my biggest problem, that is if am not ready for a change, then how will others be ready for a change???? but of course there is a difference when it comes to the path that i've chosen, for i see the life through others' eyes.
at times i think the world is already too selfish a place to see what others are going through with their life. the world has left the point of no return and they just cant change even if they want to. that to make an impact on others as i want, i have to first become one of them, but am just too scared. for if the world is that bad a place, then i may forget myself and get too comfortable with the ways of this world. that the very existence of my faith and belief would be lost in these murky waters which i so loath. that would be a certain failure on my part, and i am not the person who wants to fail something that i want so bad and believe in. thus i have to fight a losing battle against the whole of the world, but atleast i would have the satisfaction of putting up a fight for what i believe is right, against what others believe is wrong.
at the end of all this what you find is not the girl you love, it is not the friends you trust, it's not the world you loath, but it's only you you find. the more you think of the things you have done in life because they were the right things, the more you will see yourself with clarity and lucidity....and at the end that's all that matters...so now that i have come that conclusion in the best possible way, to the best of my understanding,that what matters is what you are...i think i better sleep now,....after all, i do not have to please others,....the whole exercise of this writing is for me to arrive at a conclusion and i believe i have,.....
doing the right thing is not completely about pleasing other human beings, but it's the only way of pleasing the very existence of thyself as a human being in this very cruel earth. the people you love and care about would also misinterpret this gesture of yours , but that does not mean that you are on the wrong path. as long as you know that you are treading the path you believe is true and would bring a smile upon the face of others, you are always on the right track. you would be wondering what is prompting me to write all this at this point of juncture when i got to be wondering why i haven slept yet, then maybe the answer is in the question itself. maybe it is the thought of the things i have done and want to forget in life and its dire consequences that is troubling me like never before.
i believe life is not about taking anything from anyone, but giving everything you have to others. the very meaning of your happiness may depend on the act of being selfless towards the people you love and adore in life. but many at times i find myself in a position when the ideologies and faith have been challenged by the very people who call themselves your friends and companions. i cant fight them as they wont heed to the simplicity of my nature and the beauty of my decisions, and so I'll most definitely lose the battle that i would never win even if i fought. so i bow out in front of them, which again is misinterpreted and end up being called a coward. thus i have come to the conclusion that trying to convince a person about what we believe in is as bad as not trying to convince a person what we believe in. if both the options open to a person is proved wrong, then what exactly is right and what exactly is wrong???
i doth want to spend the rest of my life as being called 'just a guy', because i, like everyone else, believe that i can do something in life, maybe make a profound impact on the life of others. the only way to make a difference in others' life is to show them the path of you believe in, but how often do you find people who want to see life through others' eyes???that brings me back to my biggest problem, that is if am not ready for a change, then how will others be ready for a change???? but of course there is a difference when it comes to the path that i've chosen, for i see the life through others' eyes.
at times i think the world is already too selfish a place to see what others are going through with their life. the world has left the point of no return and they just cant change even if they want to. that to make an impact on others as i want, i have to first become one of them, but am just too scared. for if the world is that bad a place, then i may forget myself and get too comfortable with the ways of this world. that the very existence of my faith and belief would be lost in these murky waters which i so loath. that would be a certain failure on my part, and i am not the person who wants to fail something that i want so bad and believe in. thus i have to fight a losing battle against the whole of the world, but atleast i would have the satisfaction of putting up a fight for what i believe is right, against what others believe is wrong.
at the end of all this what you find is not the girl you love, it is not the friends you trust, it's not the world you loath, but it's only you you find. the more you think of the things you have done in life because they were the right things, the more you will see yourself with clarity and lucidity....and at the end that's all that matters...so now that i have come that conclusion in the best possible way, to the best of my understanding,that what matters is what you are...i think i better sleep now,....after all, i do not have to please others,....the whole exercise of this writing is for me to arrive at a conclusion and i believe i have,.....
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